reflections on 9/11

It's not a cheerful walk down memory lane.
It's not a challenge to have the best story,
or to remember exactly where you were, what you were doing and who you were with when it happened.


It's not something to take lightly.
It's not something that should be copied and pasted to your facebook status.
It's not something you tweet in 140 characters or less.

It's something that has changed my life, but not because it happened.
not because I was fortunate to have lost no loved ones.
not because I lived in New York.
not because the smoke and smell carried on the wind for days afterward, making it more than something I saw on the news.

It's something that should have changed your life too. It still can.


It's minutes before midnight, the start to September 11th 2012.
11 years later, and my facebook newsfeed is flooded with "Never Forget" statuses.  I find it disheartening that year after year, SO many people post to "never forget," but doing nothing more than that.

What exactly are they doing by posting that? What are they saying to 'never forget'? Never forget that terrorists flew airplanes into two huge buildings in NYC? Never forget that a plane full of people took down terrorists who were attempting to hit another building? Never forget that a plane full of people crashed into the pentagon building?  The idea of never forgetting these tragic and heinous instances doesn't seem quite productive to me. I understand the intended sentiment behind the statement, to honor our heroes and remember those who've perished. What I don't understand is where "never forget" comes in.  Here, we're falling short.

I said that 9/11/01 changed my life. It wasn't a change for worse, it was a surprised change for the better. 

It's was a rude awakening that life is fragile.
Life is a gift. Life is more than we can imagine, and it can disappear in an instant. I'm never going to take mine, or the life of others for-granted.

I was 16 years old when the towers fell. Out of the rubble came the most astounding sense of community. It is something that has forever left a mark on my heart, and on the way I live and the way I raise my children. Never, in my life, before that day had I seen people so willing to help others. I'd never expect to have seen so many heros rushing in, to save strangers. Some gave their lives so others could keep theirs. These ultimate sacrifices of many brave souls ricocheted throughout our country, unifying us for, the first time in my lifetime. A fire was struck within our souls to be better to each other, to do more for others and to take less for ourselves.

The overwhelming sense of pride in being an American, and the compassion that we all found for our neighbors that day and the weeks and months that follow is something that has became engrained in my person. Something that I've never seen before, and something that I'd be ecstatic to see again.  So much love poured from us in the days that followed 9/11. Our blood banks had lines to donate, people volunteered to help, to rebuild and to better the lives of others.  American flags flew high from every home, car, building.  Our country was strong, with faith unshaken.


Here we are, 11 years later...we've lost it. We've forgotten what's really important. We've stopped helping each other. We've stopped loving each other.

To me, I can't think of a better way to honor our hero's than by trying to live my life as selflessly as they did. I haven't been met with the need to run into a burning building, but I make a conscious effort to go out of my way to help those in need. I make it a point to teach my children that it's better to give your all to others, than to demand it all from them. At the age of 3, my daughter has already given 10 inches of her hair to locks of love to make a wig for a child with cancer. She said that she want's to shave her head bald when she is older for St. Baldrick's, just as her Daddy, Poppa and Uncle's do every year to show solidarity for those that are undergoing cancer treatment. After I organized a toy drive for our Mom's group to donate gently used toys local children in need, my then 2 year old hand selected toys that she no longer uses to donate to children who otherwise wouldn't have toys for Christmas. As she picked each one she kissed it saying good bye and to have fun with a new friend. This past summer I joined my mother and brothers with my baby strapped to my back, and the 3 year old at my side doing yard work and painting for Hope House, a home for wayward young men. Mentioning these things are not intended to gain praise, but rather to lead by example.  Each and every one of us Americans has some sort of talent, time or treasure we can share.

Our work for others is not finished, as long as I'm alive, I will do all that I can to lighten the load of someone else. 

 I wish that everyone really honored our hero's and those we lost, by following in their footsteps. Then, our country would be a much better place. I wish that for every "never forget" status I see each year, that it would be put into action, rather than simply trending on facebook and twitter.

9/11 should be a humble reminder that daily we should all be striving to rekindle that sense of community, compassion and love that 9/11 inadvertently fostered.

If we do, then all those we did lose, weren't lost in vain. and THAT, is what I'll never forget.